As I was browsing the world this week, I was struck by the realization that the End of Times must surely be imminent.
Some signs that the looming apocalypse is just around the corner:
• Media outlets seem to think the following “news stories” are front page worthy: international soccer star David Beckham just acquired his 17th tattoo, an image of Jesus Christ; Jay Leno’s boring late-night talk show gets bumped to an even later time slot; Canada’s 90-year-old history magazine, The Beaver, is changing its title because of the current sexual connotations of its name; Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol; Oprah is shutting down her talk show; Sarah Palin is joining the Fox network.
• A homeowner in Barrie’s southeast end has painted the garage doors on the home in camouflage colours. Really.
• The politically-correct movement has caused companies to change the name of a playpen to a play yard and the game Snakes and Ladders to Chutes and Ladders. I can assume it is no longer kosher to play Cowboys and Indians, Cops and Robbers, or my favourite, Doctor.
• Simon and Garfunkel’s 1968 No. 1 Mrs. Robinson got a boost when it was revealed Northern Ireland’s first lady, Iris Robinson, 60, a Member of Parliament, had an affair with a 19-year-old pub owner.
• Snow in England, flurries in Florida, all a bit of a chuckle for Canadians and Russians, but seemingly the end of the world for Brits and southern Yanks. Not so much for Australians in Melbourne, where midnight temperatures hit 34 degrees this week.
• A robotic girlfriend was unveiled in the U.S. this week at an adult entertainment show in Las Vegas. Really? Las Vegas? Who would have guessed?
• The blood donor clinic in Tacoma, Washington, is offering a free pint of beer to people who donate a pint of blood.
• A frustrated mother in Boston called 911 after she couldn’t get her 14-year-old son to stop playing video games all night.
• About 74 million people play something called FarmVille on Facebook every day. (I haven’t and never will).
• Ravenous, leaping Asian carp are poised to invade the Great Lakes. Really. Check out the hilarious video on YouTube.
• A German police officer was suspended for having sex in a Catholic church, giving new meaning to the confessional opener, “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”
OK, I admit that none of the above is a sign that the Rapture is just around the corner, but some of them certainly make me wonder.
